//the leaf's departure is because of the
wind's pursuit, or because the tree
didn't ask it to stay...?//
Friday, March 25, 2005
It's a cold February night. People are bustling through the streets, either pulling up their coat collars or wrapping scarves around their necks, trying to stay warm.
It's so cold today.I'm standing at my window, looking at the people moving like little dots. Standing in a heated room, I'm beginning to pity those people. Why don't they go home? Do they plan on wandering until morning?
"Almost time to go home! My boyfriend must be going crazy." One of the nurses breathe a sign of relief. "Still needs to work overtime on Valentine's Day. It's so unfair!"
"You are fortunate." Another nurse says. "Some people don't have anyone waiting for them."
"You mean Dr. Shu?" Like Sherlock Holmes, my ears perk up when I hear my name.
"Do you remember how she lost control on this day last year?"
"Of course I do." A nurse shudders. "I've never seen Dr. Shu like that. Crying and yelling, like she was crazy."
They are talking about how I was last year. They are correct. I was out of control, like they said.
"You can't blame Dr. Shu. If my boyfriend died in front of my eyes, I would probably go crazy as well."
"Keep it down. She hasn't left work yet. She might hear you." The two nurses are too late. I heard the entire conversation through the canvas wall.
"Dr. Shu, what are you doing standing here?"
Just as I was deciding whether or not to reveal myself, another nurse exposed me. I awkwardly step out. The 2 nurses who discussed me start to blush. Their faces became redder than the bow on Valentine's Day chocolates.
"I'm waiting to go home." I pretend that I didn't hear anything.
"Dr. Shu, you must have gotten too involved in your work. It's already past time to go home. See you tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day!" She waves goodbye.
"Happy Valentine's Day." I wave back and watch the 2 nurses hurry away.
That's fine. I was ready to go home anyway. Even though no lover is waiting
for me, at least there's a lazy cat waiting for me to feed.
After I come home, the first thing I do is feed the cat. I forgot when I
first had the cat. Probably since last year's Valentine's Day. At that time,
I was like an abandoned cat, with eyes filled with despair. Cats don't cry,
I do. That's the only difference.
"Better drink all the milk or I'll skin you." I threatened the cat. Her name
is Christine, my least favorite English name. I don't know why I named the
cat Christine. Christine meowed once to let me know she heard me, but her
eyes are complaining about my severity. Her eyes remind me of someone I used
to know, standing in front of me with eyes of rebellions.
An year ago today, I had lunch with my boyfriend and took the opportunity to
complain to him.
"Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give me any flowers?"
He raised his eyebrow. "Why should I give you flowers? You are not my
anyone."
"Then... you should at least give me a card!" I pouted my lips, hurt by his
tone.
I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an e-card."
E-card. That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he is.
"You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting." I excitedly smiled and
planned to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail. Even though he wouldn't
use any romantic words, I still looked forward to the card.
"I can't stand you women. Why do you make such a big deal out of Valentine's
Day??" He grumbled while eating his food. His comment induced me to fight
with him again.
"You are not romantic at all!! Don't you watch any Japanese drama?"
"Japanese drama? I only watch Discovery Channel."
"Your life is so boring." I made a face at him. "One recent drama was really
good. You should have watched it."
"What's that drama called?" He didn't believe in the love portrayed in TV
and movies. He always thought they were lies.
"It's called 'Story of A Century'." I gladly answered.
"What kind of trashy plot did it have?"
"What do you mean trash?? Show some respect!" I was so angry. "That drama
was very touching, and the theme song was beautiful as well. It's called
'Only Love', performed by Nana Mouskouri." I wonder if he knew who Nana was.
"Nana, I know her. A Greek singer with really expensive albums."
"Her voice is worth it." Even though I secretly agreed with him, I couldn't
bring myself to admit it.
"Whatever." He glanced at his watch. "I'll give you 5 minutes to tell me the
plot. After that, I'm leaving."
I tried hard to explain 6 hours worth of story in just 5 minutes. The drama
portrayed the love stories of 3 generations of women spanning 100 years,
from 1901 to 2000. Each generation was portrayed by the same actress. The
story was tear-jerking.
"What's so touching about it?" He asked, after listening to the story.
"Don't you think each generation's story is wonderful? If I have such great
screen writing ability, I wouldn't be a doctor anymore. I would become a
screenwriter."
"If you become a screenwriter, I bet no one would watch the show. The TV
station can go out of business." He quickly interjected.
"I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the card!" I was so mad that I
went home immediately, not even finishing my coffee.
As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my computer and go online.
Staring at the empty in-box, I began to reminisce about how we met. Maybe no
one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were actually neighbors. Our
homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were kids, we liked to fight with
each other all day long. I still remember when I moved to the country that
year. Used to the city life, I couldn't get used to the simple life in the
country. After school, I would just go home and do nothing. Whenever that
happened, he would always come over to tease me.
"Why are you staring off into space??" He loved to pull on my hair. "You're
so ugly when you're doing nothing. But you're also not pretty when you
smile." In other words, I'm really ugly.
"You're the one who's ugly!" I pull back my hair. "If you think I'm so ugly,
why do you visit me??"
"Can't help it. My home is right next to your home." He argued.
"Then I'll move!" The next day, I drew a line in the ground using some white
chalk. A line that I forbid him to cross.
That year, we were both in the 5th grade. We couldn't stand each other and
hoped the other would move away. But 5 years passed, and neither of us
moved. Not only that, we got into the same high school and into the same
class.
"You're that infamous couple." All the students and teachers in the school
would say whenever they saw us.
"We're not!" I always tried to explain. "We're only neighbors." At that
time, I hated my parents for making us live next to him.
"My standard is not that low." He would say. "Who wants her to be a
girlfriend?? It's not like I don't have eyes."
"Yes, I know your eyes are on top of your head." I really disliked him.
"Better than having eyes on the bottom of my head like you." He implied that
I couldn't judge guys. At that time, I had a crush on a senior.
I didn't think that his sarcasm had a hidden meaning. After a while, I found
out that the senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I cried about it,
he silently passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me in his arms.
"I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly comforted me. I cried in his
arms the whole night, and began to see him in a different way. Things began
to change between us. We still fought all the time, but he started to look
at me differently. And I blushed and my heart beat faster when he was near.
We both knew: we fell in love with each other.
Even with this knowledge, neither of us said anything. Even though we would
not be able to resist and kissed each other constantly. Even though we cared
about each other's every moves. Both of us refused to admit our love.
Time flew by quickly, and it was time to face separation. I chose to study
medicine, and he chose physics. Yet we still couldn't separate from each
other. Our parents worried that we didn't know anyone in Taipei, so they
forced us to live in the same apartment building. Once again, we became
neighbors. We still fought, but sometimes we fought into the bedroom.
Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn't say we loved each other. We
didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until he saw me share dinner with
a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited for me in front of my door
and said that he would take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day from then
on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But I nodded and accepted his
request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's Day together. After
graduation, I became an intern. He started a small computer company with
some friends and became a programmer. We were busy with our own lives and
had no time for a relationship. Three years later, I became a doctor, and
his business began to boom. We separately moved to bigger apartments and stopped being neighbors. On the surface, we left each other.
In reality, we were still together. We spent every Valentine's Day together
but each year became more dreary than the next because he never told me he
loved me even with all my hints.
Facing the empty in-box, I suddenly grew very angry. He wouldn't say it and
wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean? Who did he think I was? I called
his cell phone.
"Hello." He picked up the phone.
"I didn't receive the card." I immediately showed my displeasure.
"You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy. "But I sent it."
He was really busy but I didn't care. "I didn't receive it. Send it again."
"Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good enough??" He said with
impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is that how lovers speak to each
other?
"Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't have to pick me up tonight.
I'll eat dinner by myself."
"Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy."
"I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears rolled down my cheeks.
Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation? We've gone out for so many
years and spent countless Valentine's Day together. I never received any
flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a little e-card. Is that too
much to ask for??
I unplugged the phone from the wall and turned off my cell phone. I didn't
want to hear his explanations. After I returned to the hospital, I
instructed the receptionist not to forward me any phone calls. I wanted to
concentrate on work.
Because there were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1 hour later
and forgot about our argument.
"Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."
As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound of an ambulance sounded
outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the emergency medics hurriedly
wheeled in a gurney.
"What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic. Everyone else were trying to
help put the patient on the gurney. He was covered with blood.
"Car accident." The medic replied. "Very serious. He may die."
I nodded and ran to the operating room with them. When I arrived, the nurses
told me that the man had already stopped breathing and also his heartbeat
also stopped
"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the nurses. Saving people is our
duty. We can't lose our calm.
But when I saw who laid on the operating table, I lost my calm. That person
was my boyfriend!
"No..." I stood in shock. "NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously
shocked his body. His body bounced up and down from the shocks. The scared
nurses went to find another doctor, to tell him that I was crazy.
I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just wanted to save my lover. Even
though we fought all the time. Even though he never showed me his love. I
still wanted to save him. He still owed me a card. He couldn't die! I threw
away the paddles and began to press on his heart. I pressed with all my
strength, hoping it would revive him, but he didn't wake up. He didn't even
say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes closed, punishing me with
his silence.
Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I couldn't see clearly
anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no sounds could come out of my
mouth.
"It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm sorry." Dr. Jian patted me
on the shoulder. They knew each other and ate together once. I introduced
them.
"He can't die." I shook my head. "He can't die!!" I struggled to run to him.
"Dr. Shu, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped me. "I understand what you're
going through, but you're a doctor."
Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular person. How can Dr. Jian
understand how I feel? I've loved him for so many years that it's become a
habit. How can I just throw away a habit? Besides, he still owed me a card.
"I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran to him again and tried to
knock the life back into his body.
"Take her away!" That day, I lost my control and my professionalism.
And that day happened to be Valentine's Day.
Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left work early that day.
They told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried to call me several
times but couldn't reach me. Worried, he drove to the hospital to find me
and got hit by a large truck on the way.
When I heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed him. Just because of an
unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my privilege to be childish.
Like an abandoned cat, I couldn't even cry anymore. After his death, I
couldn't cry anymore, regardless of how touching the plot or how
tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't affect me anymore.
Now, I'm only left with a cat and a seldomly used computer. Stepping over
the cat, I turned on the computer. Even though I know no one will send me a
mail, I still hoped that someone will remember me on this day.
Meow, meow. I looked at Christine to see what's wrong. She finished her
milk. I went into the kitchen to get her more milk then came back to look at
the computer screen.
I have.... 100 emails! Who would be bored enough to send me 100 junk mail?
I was just about to delete them all when I received another mail, and this
one said: "Because of system error, we could not send these until today.
We apologize for the delay." The sender was my ISP.
I looked at the 1st mail. It showed the send date is last year's Valentine's
Day. My heart began to beat fast. Could he have sent these?
With a trembling hand, I opened the mail. The first thing that popped up was
a gorgeous red rose set against green leaves. Then a beautiful melody began
to play.... "Only Love". I couldn't believe it. The rose was so beautiful
and the music was so dreamy. I almost thought I was in a fantasy. Most
touching of all were the words underneath the rose, because the words read
like a beautiful poem.
"Hwei."
That's my name.
"Knowing you so many years, I've never sent you any flowers. Today I send
you a rose."
I received it and it's so beautiful.
"You know we are always fighting. We can never really open our hearts and
tell each other how we feel."
Yes, but it's all your fault for being so distant.
"I know I always make you mad by the things I say."
Good that you're admitting it.
"But today I want to say to you: I'm sorry, and I love you."
I waited so many years for those words.
"And I want to tell you a good news. I finally saved enough money."
You already have enough money. Why did you need so much?
"So Hwei, let's get married!! I was afraid to propose to you, because I
didn't trust in my ability to give you the good life you deserve. But now
I've saved enough money so we don't have to wait anymore."
Who wanted you to wait? I'm already yours.
"Today, I use this card to propose to you. Will you marry me, Hwei? Will
you?"
That's the content of the whole card. Like a fool, I kept reading his words
and talking to him. It's like I can hear his voice and see him again.
As if it's back to 1 year ago with us constantly fighting.
The song played over and over. Repeating Nana's heartbreaking voice.
Only love can make a memory.
Only love can make a moment last.
You were there and all the world was young and all it's songs unsung.
and I remember you then when love was all,
all you were living for,
and how you gave that love to me...."
The lyrics of this song fits our love so closely. When he was alive, my
world was so young. Every day, I could find a something different to fight
with him about. But after he left, my life is only left with memories and
coldness that will never go away.
"Will you marry me?"
When I read these words, my tears unconsciously came, wetting the keyboard.
Will I? If he's in front of me, I will definitely kick him and call him a
big fool. If I wasn't willing, I wouldn't have waited until today.
So I moved the cursor over the "Reply" box, and typed the response that I've
already prepared for so many years - "I will."
I will - be by his side for the rest of my life. I will - fight with him
forever. That is how I answered him, but the only response I got was the
repeating song "Only Love."
Nevertheless, I opened every single letter, accepted every singled rose, and
typed the same response: "I will."
I replied 100 times, and "Only Love" played 100 times. In this cold
Valentine's night, the line that's been broken for 1 year finally got
reconnected.
I answered you. What about you?
[[.jAy.]]|17:51|
and de last one..
"He was driving home one evening, on a two-lane country road. Work, in this small mid-western community, was almost as slow as his beat-up Pontiac. But he never quit looking. Ever since the Levis factory closed, he'd been unemployed, and with winter raging on, the chill had finally hit home.
It was a lonely road. Not very many people had a reason to be on it, unless they were leaving. Most of his friends had already left. They had families to feed and dreams to fulfill. But he stayed on. After all, this was where he buried his mother and father. He was born here and knew the country.
He could go down this road blind, and tell you what was on either side, and with his headlights not working, that came in handy. It was starting to get dark and light snow flurries were coming down. He'd better get a move on.
You know, he almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road. But even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe, he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill that only fear can put in you. He said, "I'm here to help you m'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm. By theway, my name is Joe."
Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough Joe crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down her window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid. Joe just smiled as he closed her trunk.
She asked him how much she owed him. Any amount would have been alright with her. She had already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Joe never thought twice about the money. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give thatperson the assistance that they needed, and Joe added "...and think of me".
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight. A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The cash register was like the telephone of an out of work actor, it didn't ring much.
Her waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed that the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Joe.
After the lady finished her meal, and the waitress went to get her change from a hundred dollar bill, the lady slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. She wondered where the lady could be, then she noticed something written on a napkin. There were tears in her eyes, when she read what the lady wrote. It said, "You don't owe me a thing, I've been there too. Someone once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here's what you do. Don't let the chain of love end with you."
Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could she have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard. She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be alright, I love you Joe."
[[.jAy.]]|16:18|
de 4th one, fer u. hahas.
Astra sighed as she gazed into the darkening sky. Her eyes searched for tiny sparkling lights but her efforts were fruitless. No stars again tonight. She lay back on the grass, welcoming the evening. She felt as if she were being swallowed up by a dark beast. It wasn't just the night which made her feel this way. She'd been feeling gloomy for some time. It was a week ago that she's arrived home to find her grandmother on the porch, waiting for her, looking sad.
"It's your father," Gran told her. "He's had a heart attack. He's not expected to pull through."
Astra didn't know her parents. Her mother had died giving birth to her, and unable to cope with the loss of his wife and feeling incapable of raising Astra alone, her dad had moved away to another town, leaving her to be cared for by his mother. She'd seen photographs and considered him handsome, and she knew he'd given her the name Astra for some special reason. Her Gran knew, but wouldn't tell. "It's something he should explain himself," she always said.
Gran's voice interrupted her thoughts. "I have to go to him. Will you come?" Astra hesitated, and then nodded solemnly. She didn't think she could face the man who had abandoned her, but Gran needed her. She had to put her own feelings aside. The drive to the hospital was long and silent. They were met out the front of the Intensive Care Unit by a doctor. "I'm afraid that his condition has worsened," he informed them gently. "He may not make it through the night."
A nurse came to take Gran to her son. Astra sat in the waiting room. She closed her eyes, exhausted, and soon fell asleep. She was woken a few hours later by Gran. "Your dad's awake and calling for you. Go to him. He's desperate to see you." Astra stood and walked slowly to where the nurse waited. She was taken into a dark room. She looked at the floor until the nurse left.
The door clicked shut behind her. She took a deep breath, then turned to face him. He looked just like he did in all the pictures, except older and grayer. He appeared frail and helpless, hooked up to the machines. She walked to his bed and sat in the chair beside it.
Their eyes locked. "Astra," he smiled wearily. Astra was confused.
She felt sorry for him, but she was angry, too. After a time, though, she couldn't stand it any longer.
"Why did you leave me?" Her father looked at her in pain. "I wanted to take care of you but I couldn't do it. You were a constant reminder of your mother. I just couldn't cope." Astra's anger grew. "So it was all my fault then?" "No, it's not your fault. I've never blamed you." He spoke firmly. "I do love you Astra. Please believe me."
She sat staring down at her hands, not knowing what to say. "I want to tell you something your mother told me, a story her mum told her."
Astra looked up at him curiously. "When someone close to you dies, a bright star will burn at night. You have to look for the star because it's a sign from that person, it's their special way of telling you that they're looking over you and that they love you....." He faltered, weak, then pulled a silver ring from his little finger. It had a star on it. "Your mum was given this when she was told the story. It's a family tradition. She'd have wanted you to have it and learn the story, so you can pass them one day."
He took Astra's hand, placed the ring in her palm and held on tightly. His eyelids fluttered, threatening to close. "What about my name?" she urged. "When your mother died, I searched out her star. It was so brilliant and shining. Astra means 'like a star'. And you were like you mother's star, radiant and celestial."
He squeezed her hand. "I'm going to prove I love you Astra. I'm going to burn the brightest star there ever was. Just for you." He gazed at her, his eyes were now unseeing. Astra knew that he was slipping away. "Look for my star. Please, Astra." His hand fell from hers. A monitor began to beep urgently and medical staff rushed in, ushering her out of the room....
But she couldn't find his star. She'd looked every evening since and had found nothing. She scanned the sky a final time. "Maybe you don't love me after all," she whispered sadly into the heavy darkness. She turned and walked slowly back into the light of the house. Behind her, in the ebony sky, a solitary star flashed into the night.
_leena
[[.jAy.]]|16:10|
_____________
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tankew lenaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! muaxxxxxx + hugxxxxxx
pline
[[.jAy.]]|22:25|
yay! nice skin! credits to *ahem and pls lemme kip it!!! i reli lyk it.. and i rarely lyk any happy skins can?? plsplsplsplspls.....
me spent lotsa effort on it! i figured out how to add more buttons too!! yay! spent abt 2 hrs. so PLEASE......................
pline
aka
count paulaf (o)
[[.jAy.]]|22:18|
_____________
Monday, March 21, 2005
today. im so touchd. haii. tankew so much lenaaa......y so nish HUH. aiyo abit ashamd of my prez to u la.......T. T
anw. todae was history battlefield tour! its was okay, me lyks e war cemetery and the changi chapel cos tese 2 places made me oh-so-touchd. ^ ^ esp tt pt wher the tour guide wads-her-name said "he just wudnt let go of it cos it was the only physical connection he had wif his dad" and "pls tell my family im sorry but i didnt survive the war, i cant be back to be togethr wif all of u..." tts my tear-gland triggers. HAII. how stupid can man get.....
mmm. oh yes! we had lunch tgt. ALL SPASTICS!! yay! leme recall. to my rite...lena[odd one out. rice, potatoes, chicken, mp3, smiley face, lemon barley], lin[noodles, coke], jia[noodles same as lin, sprite], chen[tomyam mee, sugarcane+lemon], hua[duck noodles, ice lemon tea]. me[tomyam mee, teh-c, honeydew] smiling happily away cos it felt lyk a rare outing tgt. AWW. ^ ^
hmm wad else leh? uh...uh.. i tink no more..*phew from readers* lol.
{touchd, touchd, tired, touchd, frustratd, sorry, grateful, touchd}
ur be-lo-ved count paulaf (o)
[[.jAy.]]|19:13|
_____________
Thursday, March 17, 2005
ur be-lo-ved count paulaf is bak!!
gym camp was SOOOOO tiring =.< zzzZ 1st we had gym nite prac, me workd real hard cos lotsa onions gna watch! ^ ^ thn we went out for lunch..had shrooms burger wich was yummy(or was i hungry) thn...we came bak to sku and did rock climbing. my poor arms were torturd for 15 whole mins cos i was stuk at one point of e wall for ages and dey wun let me down. =.= mm thn we had netball, jean blockd me til my teeth knockd her arm. xiong la. haha. we lost anw and our grp had to pay jean's grp $3 each. mmm...thn we had badminton! in the stifflin hall. best fun eva but it did remind me vaguely of a certain sad time wen me and cuzs playd badminton furiously to put granma's death behind us. ANW, aft tt we had a wundaful bath thn horribl dina. yux. thn wanjun came to teach us dance for gym nite. (no comments) me desperately buried my head in my blanket as she passd bt anw, neithr of us cared actualy. mm. the dance is STUPID. I KANT BLIV IT. ONIONS IM SO SORRY I HAFTA LOOK SO STUPID AND XTRA IN TT DANCE BUT I DID NOT PLAN TT!!!!! ugh. rite. it was freezin in e hall. me took e corner wich i slept in durin sec 1 orientation! ^ ^ kept wakin up cos of e cold and e hard floor.
mornin. 1 and a half slices of bread. games whil waitin for bus. "mr fuzzy wuzzy" on bus and reachd sea sports centre or sth. went thru talkin and stimulators and practicals wich i dun eva wna go thru agn, the sea simply SUCKS. the muck. the oil. the sting. YUX. mm. sufferd heat-whines and hunger and stingin sensations in eyes +nose + lips +toe cos of the idiotic pollutd seawater. yech. um...walkd MILES AND MILES thn reachd cafe cartel. free flow of bread. wundaful peach tea. nice atmosphere and waiters. mm. the $3 (each) we lost were collectd and used to subsidise for the othr grp's lunch. thn HOME!!!
yay. i cant wait for a nap. adios ppl.
(o) count paulaf
^tts suposd to b an EYE
[[.jAy.]]|18:45|
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Tuesday, March 15, 2005
hehs. pauline said tht it was bai se valentines day ydae (2 and a half hrs ago). wonda wut that is. lol spent it wit jia nehs. cool!! bwhaahhaha no lars.
anws!!! jus wanna tell all tht, *ahem* holidays nw, jiu enjoy bahx. count paul-af shal b UNSTRESSEd. and, tere shal be WORLD PEACE. heh. im crap.
owels i gt nth else 2 say. jus tht its late in de nite and im feelin woozy. eh. put in song liaos. KANOt hear mus tell me KAES. if neba tell me i grrrrbish arhs!bweh.
leeenaaaaaaa
[[.jAy.]]|02:32|
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Monday, March 14, 2005
T_T yep im strtin wit tis T_T aft all. haha. my tears haf leaked their fill for now, nid sum time to reload b4 anthr cryin session later at bedtime. mm.
welwelwel. hellohellohello~ ^ ^ me, ur be-lo-ved count paulaf, was out for movies wit jiacong. first, i reachd tere and realisd no howls showin at j8. askd and persn said showin at plaza sing. so poor jia, hu had took a taxi frm near plaza sing all e wae to j8, went a-l-l the waaay back wit me. so soz lol. and rite. bot e tix tere, wen for lunch at kfc. ran outa time so dcidd to smuggle our food and drinks in. -muaha- and TADA we succeedd. jia had to cary her bag careful lyk hel cos al drinks were insyd, and i had a warm blob plastered to my thigh in my jeans pocket(my pinappuru pie desu). owelz. first show was howls, rawks man! -grin- we were squealin weneva tere was a close-up on howl. lol. "SO SHUAIIIIIIII!" me lyk heen tt stupid-can-fly-yet-got-sophie-to-carry-it-dog. ^ ^ thn, aft tt we went to fool arnd in arcade, wich had no point at all. lol jus succumbd to temptatn to go play abit. aftwich we spent abt...say, 15 mins? in front of popcorn counter bcos ms ang wantd a hotdog but it was way too ex. in e end we shared, UNFAIRLY indeed. went in, settled down and wundaful ms angjiacong told me the horriblest, mind-racking, hotdog-choking, touching ting. she watchd tt movie b4. 0_o man, i was sockd in my face. =.= so dam touchd it was e first ever movie to mke me cry even b4 it strtd. lol. cudnt focus 100% on movie thus BUT it rox stil. THO dey changd almost e whol plot, THO dey actualy had a quite-hapy ending, THO e pace was too fast and klaus bcame e inventor in one pt. violet quite chio, and jia saes klaus' yan shen quite shuai too. lub sunny and realisd they used twins to act tt role. cooooool ^ ^ thus the end of my wundaful white valentines dae. tankew so much jiaaa x) aha. o i wantd to buy a bdae prez too but was too rushd in e end...so..mebe tmw?
{touchd, touchd, tired, touchd, touchd}
ur be-lo-ved Count Paulaf
[[.jAy.]]|21:18|
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Sunday, March 13, 2005
buahaha. lena. now i tink u stil haven see yet. BUT i hope u wun get pissd or anthing COS i reli lyk it k. really seriously honestly truely sincerely lub it. considerin how often i've been ranting abt wads e point, i really seriously honestly truely sincerely tink it fits my mood. my anger. my frustration. so PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE let me use it. puhweez puhweez dear nice lena?? ^ ^ -silence------
YAY u agreed! woohoo. ^ ^ tankew. i wil not gu1 fu4 ur wundaful skin de. =)
[[.jAy.]]|10:53|
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Friday, March 11, 2005
sigh. netball sux man. gave me more troubles. wasted time for my beauty sleep sumore. f it la.
so angry todae. how cud they?? humph. darn freaky man. kau.
anw...juz wna say SORRY to neone i offended in term 1...i've been offendin pple alot since rgs. reli ba zi bu he man...IM SORRY..
and well. others..gues not much.
pline
[[.jAy.]]|19:26|
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Sunday, March 06, 2005
yep. peeps sae im lucky. i gues im. but mebe cos nth's perfect, im never satisfied. >.<
{freakd, irritated, pisd, serious, careles, hapy}
paul
ps: leena cheerup u r not alone i asure u
[[.jAy.]]|17:36|
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Saturday, March 05, 2005
depression.depression.depression.depression.depression.
depression.depression.depression.depression.depression.
depression.depression.depression.depression.depression.
depression.depression.depression. depression.depression.
depression.depression.depression. depression.depression.
sigh. why is tis world so freakin unfair. HUH.
`leena
[[.jAy.]]|23:06|
founders dae perfrmance todae..quite funy but yanshan and me not much to talk. lyk abit awkward de leh lol. newaes, mood's lyk roler coaster todae. i felt tired, nervous, dejected, insultd, hapy, utterly dejected, touched todae. wowee. so cool.
anw. i nid to c e point. i tot i knew e point. thn nw it has blurrd. wth i dun gedit.
paul "/
[[.jAy.]]|22:44|
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Friday, March 04, 2005
i haf been reveald to yanshan. sad man. no fun liao. but nvm la.. soonr or later anw.
SKU SUX! agn i realisd i do not noe the point of doin wad i had been doin tere. =(
tis is sickenin. /-\
re-hacked,
pline
[[.jAy.]]|16:58|
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Thursday, March 03, 2005
loll. ^^ thx lenaaaa. anw. toilin for sc pt. 'resting' now. =p so sian. cant wait for holsssss~~
todae was a sickenin dae. hist test was quite easy bt i reli dun c e point of rakin up e past. chi sux lyk hel, and it was lyk revisiting hell(outside clasrm) aft mor thn 1 yr. the feelin was familiar but raw. owel. lit was dam borin, i spent sum time writin on my hand. com studs sux, al our clips gone. sickenin sku. so iresponsibl. >.< anw thx to jia and hua and lena. and the poor roof of walkway joinin blk h. got u drenchd evn tho no rain loll.
rushin bak to wk, plineee
[[.jAy.]]|20:48|
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Wednesday, March 02, 2005
hahahas aww FINE. anyways the whole world's doodleboards are down =_= owels. damn doodle. heh. mayb change tagboard soon! if you do not know by now, chen's curses are all practicali ..fatal. lols.yay ppl. from now onwards
LENAshall post tooo ^^ so do not be surprised. yesh. lols for now, cheers people. i admit tht de previous previous post was i do one larhs.. =P
leena`
[[.jAy.]]|21:34|
i hereby announce tt tt was not me. uhhuh.
haii sc pt is driving me nuts. my exprmnt results mke absoulutely no sense. =.= thn? hist test tmw. i duno lorms yet. dam shit la.
im sick of sku. but i wil refrain frm killin myself. for now. =.="
o yes. look wad u said chen! now the tagbord is reli dead. lol.
[[.jAy.]]|18:04|
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Tuesday, March 01, 2005
tagboard not appearing lehs =__= will work it out then.
jiay0u for tests and PTs tis days, everyoneee!! ^-^
[[.jAy.]]|23:02|
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